Review: Stoned

Stoned by Mandi Beck
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

4 ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Liked it!
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Wow!
The author's writing is very good and hooks the reader from start to finish.
I would never forgive our Zero!
What happened to Zeroine was unforgivable.
I am a bitch who holds a grudge and would never take him back.
But it was a good story and I enjoyed it a lot.
I'm anxious to know what happens to the other members of the band!

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“You got what you wanted, Stone. You’re single and free to do whatever and whoever you want without having to worry about sneaking around. Don’t keep her waiting—she looks like a sure thing.”

“Stone is going home . . . to Willow,” Judge informs them.

“Why the fuck wouldn’t she be? She’s pissed at me, but it’s Wills. She’ll be there.”

“What? Why the fuck are you all staring at me?” I bellow. “Always fucking watching me. I’m sick of it.”

“Bro, she left more than eight months ago, dropped her keys off at the studio with Addy, and none of us have talked to her since. We even hired a PI who can’t find Willow,” he says carefully. “Have you heard from her at all? Has there been new news from the guy Addy hired?”

“She didn’t just ‘quit’ you, Stone. You pushed too fucking far and forced her out,” he spits out.

I just want to get inside, get my hands on Willow, and get out from under the prying eyes of Dane so that I can find my stash and pop an Oxy, maybe two, and just chill with my girl.

“Don’t treat me like I’m a kid. I’m a grown ass man. A fucking rock star! I fuck who I want, I drink what I want, and I do whatever fucking shit I want.” My voice rises louder and louder until I’m yelling, veins bulging in my neck, and still, Lawson looks unfazed.

“Willow is smart and she’s put up with your shit for a long time now. Longer than you realize. You put her through hell, Stone. I won’t help you do that again.”

It’s not just the drugs either. It’s the cheating too. Don’t think she didn’t know about that shit. She blamed that on the drugs, and I know it had to be because a sober Stone would never dick around on his girl.”

He looks good. Healthy. Not like the last time I saw him. It pains me a little to think that my leaving was good for him, when being there and supporting him, dealing with his constant shit wasn’t.

You name it and Stone had been addicted. Drugs, women, alcohol. If he could get high off it, he would.

“Oh yeah? When was that? Back when I would already have my cock out and down your throat because I was too high to give a fuck about anything but my own pleasure? Certainly not about the fact that my girlfriend was waiting for me. Maybe even in the hall. Back when, even with your mouth full of my come, I still wouldn’t remember your name, or care? Is that the ‘used to be’ you mean . . . Melissa?” “It’s Megan,” she hisses, dumfounded and more than a little pissed.

Didn’t matter that half the time I was so God damn high I would have bet money that it was Willow I was fucking only to come down from that nirvana and realize it wasn’t. No, I didn’t wonder shit. I was well aware of all my shortcomings.

Maybe I should’ve taken her up on the offer of pussy. I haven’t had any since Wills left me. Haven’t wanted to look at another woman, let alone fuck one. The irony isn’t lost on me. I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants when I had a good woman in my bed, now that she’s gone, she’s all I want. It’s every fucking sad song ever written.

She was right to leave me. Fuck, I threw her away. My muse, my heart. Threw her away without a care.

“Lyric. My daughter’s name is Lyric,” she says, irritated. “And what would’ve been the point, Stone? You never used to answer any of my calls anyway. Just saved myself the headache and didn’t bother. I’ve learned not to depend on you. It was the hardest lesson of my life, but it finally stuck, so . . .”

“Are you telling me that you are working two fucking jobs, with a baby at home, when you have access to millions of dollars?”

“You spent the last few months that we were together reminding me that it was you doing all the work. Your name they were screaming in sold-out arenas, and that I was just along for the ride. Another groupie,” she spits.

I can say nothing, just stare at her in disbelief. What had I done to her? What had I done to us?

Stone may have been the greatest love of my life, but he wouldn’t be the last.

I never wanted to be that guy again. Because of her. If it weren’t for Willow, I’d be that guy in a second. I loved being high.

“Why are you back, Stone? Why now? I have a man who doesn't cheat on me or go and get high and leave me in a strange city because he’s so coked up he forgot that I was at the hotel waiting for him,” I say bitterly.

I don't want to be the girl that they whisper about in pity or laugh at when they think she can't hear. I want to be the woman that I've become since I've left him.

Listening to him, while trying to block him out, the memories taking me back to a bar down the street from the posh hotel that I had just been evicted from by the man whom I’ve loved all of my adult life. An innocent, kind smile and an offer of a drink and an ear. I tear at my hair as I recall waking up in a strange motel room, alone and . . . naked from the waist down with a head leaden and fogged. To jackknifing to a sitting position and scrambling to find my pants, finally finding them and shoving my legs into them as I run to escape.

Drugged and raped. I had been drugged and raped a block away from my hotel while my boyfriend laid inside, high, drunk, and most likely with another woman, maybe even a harem of women. Drugged and raped . . . drugged . . . and . . . raped . . .

I remember nothing from that night. Not a single fucking thing. Only waking up on the floor, clothes still on from the night before, a strange woman in the bed and no Willow. I had no clue what time it was or what day.

The only thing stopping me from tossing it back and letting the smooth heat of it burn as it goes down is the thought of what Willow must have gone through. What she’s been going through.

“I threw her out, Law. I kicked her out of our room with nothing. What kind of man does that, huh? What kind of man kicks the woman he loves out with some random bitch standing next to him?”

“If I hadn’t been high, Willow wouldn’t have been roofied and fucking raped.”

“I consider myself lucky in the sense that I can’t remember any of the horrible things he did to me. To my body. I woke up damaged but have no memory of what happened to make me that way. It’s tragic and life changing, even without becoming pregnant. But to think that he’s out there raping women . . . I feel sick.”

That’s something I can’t get past. All the lying and cheating. It haunts me. Niggles at me whenever I feel myself weakening toward him.

“And before that night we hadn’t slept together in more than four months,” I remind him. “What? It was that long?

“My heart doesn’t beat in rhythm when you’re not around. I need you, to be me. I’m your rhythm, and you’re for damn sure mine.”

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