Review: Tainted Love

Tainted Love by Michelle Betham
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

==>PORTUGUESE AND ENGLISH<==

Este livro nem estava no meu radar, mas ao ler a resenha da amiga Fre06 Begum eu não resisti.
A história despertou todas emoções possíveis e eu faria exatamente o que nossa heroína fez. Concordo totalmente com ela, uma vez a confiança quebrada não tem mais condições de restauração.
Eu li uma vez que a confiança é como uma porcelana, uma vez quebrada e colada novamente, as emendas criarão fungos e bactérias que infestarão o todo. Nunca será igual novamente.
Um relacionamento longo e supostamente feliz, ambos com empregos estáveis e vida sexual ativa. Eu penso que o suposto herói fez porque achou que não seria descoberto. E a tal amiga, vamos combinar que de amiga não tinha nada, morria de inveja e no fundo odiava nossa heroína. Os dois foram totalmente desleais e nojentos.
A mudança do enredo me deixou triste, afinal eu penso que ela sofreu o suficiente. Ela perdeu o marido, amigos e toda estabilidade que ela tinha.
Eu também penso que ela sempre amou Alex, mas teve medo de perder o grande amigo e não pensou nisso. Alex a amava tanto que só queria a felicidade dela, seja com quem ela escolhesse. Por isso ele sempre foi o melhor amigo dela. Ele era o porto seguro dela.
Eu gostaria que Sam e Summer queimasse no fogo do inferno.
Mas no final nós sabemos que Joss vai ficar bem, porque ela é uma pessoa amada e muito especial. E ela apesar de tudo soube dar a volta por cima como vencedora.

This book was not even on my radar, but reading Fre06 Begum's review I did not resist.
The story has aroused as many emotions as possible and I would do exactly what our heroine did. Kick the POS out of the house. I totally agree with her, once the trust is broken she has no further conditions of restoration.
I read once that trust is like a porcelain, once broken and glued again, the seams will create fungi and bacteria that will infest the whole. It will never be the same again.
A long and supposedly happy marriage, both with stable jobs and active sex life. I think the supposed hero did because he thought it would not be discovered. And the best friend, let's agree that as a friend she had nothing, she died of envy and deep down she hated our heroine. They were both totally disloyal and disgusting.
The plot change made me sad, after all I think she suffered enough. She lost her husband, friends and all the stability she had.
I also think she always loved Alex, but was afraid to lose the great friend and did not think about it. Alex loved her so much he wanted her happiness, whomever she chose. That's why he's always been her best friend. He was her safe haven.
I wish Sam and Summer would burn in the fire of hell.
But in the end we know Joss will be fine because she is a loved and very special person. And she nevertheless managed to turn around as the winner.

===>STOP HERE: SPOILER<==

==>OW<== “Hey.” I smile at the sound of his voice. I never know when he’s going to call, we don’t make definite plans. We can’t. But hearing his voice, it always fills me with an inner peace, despite the chaos our relationship would cause if people knew about us.

==>CHEATER<== “I need to see you, Summer.” I pause, just for a second. “Yeah. I need to see you, too.”

Seventeen years at this school and I finally make Deputy Head. I’m happy for me. I’m proud of me. It’s been a long time coming…

We were mistaken for brother and sister all the time, because we were always so close.

==>CHEATER SOB<==Summer and Savannah are part of our family. And I care about them. Both of them…

==>NO CONDOM - POS<== The guilt hits me the second I push inside her. My wife. My beautiful, talented, popular wife. Everyone at Millers Bridge loves her. The staff. The students. The fucking secretaries, they all adore her. I adore her. I love her, so fucking much, that’s why I feel so guilty.

She’s my world, my reason for existing, yet, I’m hurting her. And I don’t even know why; why I’m doing what I’m doing I just know I can’t stop it. And I should. We should, stop it. We should. But I can’t. Because I’m weak. Joss made me weak. It’s her fault, not mine.

==>WHORE BAG<== But he can’t wash away the guilt. Guilt I know he feels, so why doesn’t he stop this? Why don’t I stop this? Because I’m weak, that’s why. So is he. We’re both weak. We’re both liars. We’re both weak, cheating liars.

==>BITCH<== I want him. My best friend’s husband.

==>Because you can! SOB<== I’m sleeping with my wife’s friend. I’m lying to Joss. Beautiful, sexy-as-hell Joss. The woman I’m in love with, so why the hell am I sleeping with Summer?

I’m tired. I fucked two women tonight, and deceit, Christ, it’s exhausting.

==>Oops, she did! OM kissed her.<== It happens so quickly, too quickly, I almost can’t breathe as his mouth touches mine, the taste of him sending a million lightning bolts shooting through me, sparks of electricity fizzing through my veins.

==>WHORE BAG AND POS<== “I know, and I’m sorry, that I had to do this tonight. But I don’t think putting it off is a good idea. We need to end it now, before Joss finds out…” “I’m pregnant.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Sam. You seriously think I’d lie about something like this? I’m sleeping with my best friend’s husband, I’m pregnant with his baby! Joss she – she’s been in my life since I was eighteen years old, we’re like family, and I’ve betrayed her. You’ve betrayed her… Jesus! This is a fucking mess…”
I’m having my best friend’s husband’s baby. My best friend. The woman who can’t have children of her own.
I love her. But I love her husband more.

==>HE FUCKED OW AND DID NOT THINK OF DST THAT COULD PASS TO THE WIFE.<== She was supposed to be on the fucking pill, and I’m so used to the fact Joss can’t conceive that using condoms isn’t something I do, even with Summer. Because she told me she was on the pill.

There’s something wrong, I can tell. He’s on edge, and he’s drinking, a lot.

I breathe him in. My husband. My rock. My world. “I want to fuck you, Joss. Here. Now. I want to fuck you.”
I’m doing this to rid myself of the guilt. I’m fucking my wife, like this, to make myself feel better. I’m taking all my frustration out on her, the one person who doesn’t deserve any of my crap.

==>Jealousy, envy AND BETRAYAL<== The man I’ve been sleeping with for almost six months now. I saw them, holding hands and laughing like a couple of teenagers. I know what they were doing in there, it was obvious. He was fucking her.

==>If he had truly loved his wife, he would not have betrayed her so vilely.<== What the hell was I playing at? What the fuck was I doing? Summer means nothing to me. Nothing. Was I bored? Stuck in a rut? Joss and I, we weren’t having any problems, we still had sex, still had great sex; we still have great sex, so why the hell did I need to go fuck her best friend?

==>Because you're an envious whore and home wrecker.<== And what’s my excuse? What’s my reason for sleeping with my best friend’s husband? I should’ve walked away.

“Are you absolutely, one hundred per cent sure that this baby – are you certain it’s mine?”

“We already hurt her the second you touched me, Sam. There’s no going back from that.”

“I am not willing to lose Joss; do you hear me? She is my wife…” “And you betrayed her. I betrayed her, but I accept that we now have to deal with what we did. You need to accept it too, Sam.”

==>The whore is so envious that she takes pleasure in rubbing into the heroine's face that she is pregnant while our heroine is barren.<== Her barren womb was never going to give him what I know he’s always wanted, deep down. A child. They both wanted a child.

==>With a friend like that we do not need enemies.<== Joss always comes first. All our life, Joss has come first. Sam. Alex. Everyone puts Joss first. But that’s about to end, Joss.

I slept with Savvi’s mum. Savvi wants to sleep with me. I’m in so much fucking trouble…

“I slept with Summer.” The words spill out of me.
When my husband and my friend’s betrayal finally sinks in. The anger will hit me, soon, so while I’m still numb, still strangely calm, I call Alex. I ask him to come over, and even though he pushes for a reason why I sound the way I do – robotic, almost – I don’t tell him.

“She fucking loved you, both of you, and you do this?” “It meant nothing, Alex, I swear…”
“How long did it go on for, Sam? How fucking long?” “Six months… Alex,...
“What else have you got to hide, Sam?”
“Summer’s pregnant. With my baby.”

“How long, Summer? How long have you been sleeping with my husband?”
“Six months.” “Jesus Christ…”

“You’re not worth it. Neither of you are worth it.”

“What did he do, Joss?” I whisper, because the man must be an idiot, a real first-class dick to lose this woman. “He threw me away,”

Sam slept with my friend. For six months they lied to me. Betrayed me. They hurt me. Sam got my friend pregnant.

Joss Coburn is dead. I’m Joss Engström now.

Sam hurt me, so bad, and I haven’t even begun to deal with that. Summer betrayed me in a way I can’t begin to understand. Connor Sloane made me want to smile. But he can’t fix me. Alex can.

“I can’t trust you anymore, Sam. And without that, without trust, we have nothing left.” “I love you, so fucking much…” “You should’ve remembered that, before you fucked Summer. We’re done here.”

“The second you slept with her, you lost me, Sam.”

But Joss – she’s paid the highest price. She lost her marriage. Her friend. Her future.

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